Someone in this house is not ready for Sebastian to start potty training.
No, not Sebastian.
It's me, ok? I'm not ready.
I've admitted this several times to people over the last two weeks, as our Toddler 1 class discussed this and then planned to hear a speaker last night who would provide us with a great overview of how to start or continue doing this process.
First, I will start by confessing that I hate the word potty and try never to use it. I did so in the first sentence only so that others would know immediately what I meant. I don't know exactly why I have such an aversion to the word, but it's probably just a bizarre personality trait, like how I hate the word blog or don't use the word mommy because some words just sound ugly or don't seem to fit in my mouth the right way. Anyway, so first I had to get comfortable thinking and talking about toilet training because that's what we're going to call it here at Chez Rasler.
But the main reason that I am resisting the idea of starting toilet training, which according to last night's speaker I could have begun two months ago, is that I know that no matter what we do now, Sebastian will almost certainly decide to go back to diapers when the baby arrives this summer. And I don't know about you, but any kind of regression always sends me into a tailspin, raging hormones or not. Why are you waking up twice a night all of a sudden when you slept through the night for two months?? Why do you want me to hold the spoon for you when you've been feeding yourself for four weeks?? You know what I mean. As parents, I think we pretty much all want things to just keep moving forward.
Don't get me wrong, I am sick of diapers. Totally over it. Then again, when compared with having to clean up the inevitable accidents that happen without them, my tired, pregnant self would rather stick with the tried and true routine for now.
I'd been kind of figuring that we'd do the full training in the fall, when Sebastian is older and ready to do it in more of a week, rather than the long, drawn-out process that most parents go through when they start too early. My mom used the toilet training in a day method for all three of us, and some variation of that sounded like the way to go.
Turns out that it's a pretty good idea (Sebastian's new favorite phrase) to start doing aspects of the training now, even though most boys won't fully train for another year. Sigh.
As the speaker Jan Faull went through the readiness signs for toilet training, it was then that I realized that Sebastian was ready to begin - not the full-on training, but the preliminary stuff - and that my reluctance was the only thing standing in the way.
With the new baby coming, diapers are obviously still a major part of my future, but I guess this mama better get ready for the next step.
So here I go. I'm going out to buy... a potty chair?... blech. A portable toilet?...that sounds weird. I don't know what we're going to call it, but you know what I'm talking about.
Wish me luck.
My favorite (hiding) place
I'm finally returning to All About MEme Monday - a little late in the day - because it suits what I want to write about today anyway (and it's fun to play along).
The prompt this week is:
I'm surprised I couldn't come up with my answer right away, but then again, I don't get to spend enough time in my favorite spot. I used to visit it every morning, but now I'd say it's more like every two or three days before I get to return to it. (Brief) absence makes the heart grow fonder, so at this point I can say honestly that I love...
my shower.
There is absolutely nothing special about my shower just to look at it. It's your average size, no bathtub attached (sadly), no lovely colors on the wall. But when I close the door, turn on the hot water, and step inside, I am transported into a world that bears little resemblance to reality.
In the shower, there are no diapers to change, no children crying, no chores to do. I have been fortunate in that I can almost always take a shower when someone else in on baby duty. Thus, there is neither monitor in sight, nor timer to race before his nap is over. It doesn't matter how I look, no one is judging my shampooing technique or my choice to shave or not to shave. Well, my husband may judge that later, but he wisely keeps his thoughts to himself.
In the shower, my worries don't disappear, but they do feel lighter. My head is clearer. All the petty irritations wash away, and I'm left with either a wandering mind or time to focus on what really matters. Most of my resolutions have been crafted in the shower, as well as solutions to problems large and small.
So much of my day is focused on caring for my son, my house, and the endless task list. In the shower, I take care of only myself. For those wonderful ten or fifteen minutes, I am not a wife, a mother, a teacher, a friend, or anything but just ME. I rinse away all reminders that I spend so much time cleaning bottoms and noses and sticky fingers, I treat myself to fabulous products (I love Bumble & Bumble and Bed Head), I stand in the hot, hot water and just breathe.
The rest of my house is nice enough, and I'm working every day on organizing it, preparing for another member of the family... but there is nowhere quite like my favorite hiding place.
The prompt this week is:
my shower.
There is absolutely nothing special about my shower just to look at it. It's your average size, no bathtub attached (sadly), no lovely colors on the wall. But when I close the door, turn on the hot water, and step inside, I am transported into a world that bears little resemblance to reality.
In the shower, there are no diapers to change, no children crying, no chores to do. I have been fortunate in that I can almost always take a shower when someone else in on baby duty. Thus, there is neither monitor in sight, nor timer to race before his nap is over. It doesn't matter how I look, no one is judging my shampooing technique or my choice to shave or not to shave. Well, my husband may judge that later, but he wisely keeps his thoughts to himself.
In the shower, my worries don't disappear, but they do feel lighter. My head is clearer. All the petty irritations wash away, and I'm left with either a wandering mind or time to focus on what really matters. Most of my resolutions have been crafted in the shower, as well as solutions to problems large and small.
So much of my day is focused on caring for my son, my house, and the endless task list. In the shower, I take care of only myself. For those wonderful ten or fifteen minutes, I am not a wife, a mother, a teacher, a friend, or anything but just ME. I rinse away all reminders that I spend so much time cleaning bottoms and noses and sticky fingers, I treat myself to fabulous products (I love Bumble & Bumble and Bed Head), I stand in the hot, hot water and just breathe.
The rest of my house is nice enough, and I'm working every day on organizing it, preparing for another member of the family... but there is nowhere quite like my favorite hiding place.
The first nightmare
This weekend my sister and nephew came down to visit. It was Friday night, we'd all had busy weeks, and had settled in for a good post-baby-bedtime chat when we heard a cry. "Yours or mine?" we always ask each other and look at the two monitors broadcasting each boy's room. It was mine. That's weird, I thought. He hasn't done that for a long time. I paused, waited for a minute, then heard a choked sob and a "peez...Mama...peez." ?
When I walked into the room, Sebastian was sobbing and lifted his little arms up to me, asking to get up, please. Since he's been getting some molars, I asked him if his mouth was hurting, but he just clung to me and said he wanted to "sit chair wif mama." I sat down with him and rocked. He had his Toby and his pacifier and he curled his body up into my lap, head against my chest. We sat there until he had fallen back to sleep, at which point I stood up, he woke up, and I was able to put him in bed as though it were his usual bedtime complete with "sleep well" and "see you in the morning."
But that half hour. It was bliss. My baby didn't like to be rocked when he was born. He wanted to bounce. I spent hours on an exercise ball soothing him through his first few months. When we sat in the lovely glider my sibs gave us, it was always in locked position so I could nurse him. We still sit in it every day and I love it, but he rarely wanted to just hang out and relax with me there. It was always chatting or reading books once the nursing was over.
So though it was a tough moment to know that my baby is now so big he hardly fits on my lap and that he's old enough to start having sad or scary dreams, it was also that moment when I remembered exactly why I wanted to become a mother. This boy loved me, was sure I would come to help him when he was sad, and felt safe enough in my arms to brave going back to sleep. As we slowly rocked and I hummed "twinkle, twinkle little star," I even forgot that I was nervous about starting all over again in a few months.
When I walked into the room, Sebastian was sobbing and lifted his little arms up to me, asking to get up, please. Since he's been getting some molars, I asked him if his mouth was hurting, but he just clung to me and said he wanted to "sit chair wif mama." I sat down with him and rocked. He had his Toby and his pacifier and he curled his body up into my lap, head against my chest. We sat there until he had fallen back to sleep, at which point I stood up, he woke up, and I was able to put him in bed as though it were his usual bedtime complete with "sleep well" and "see you in the morning."
But that half hour. It was bliss. My baby didn't like to be rocked when he was born. He wanted to bounce. I spent hours on an exercise ball soothing him through his first few months. When we sat in the lovely glider my sibs gave us, it was always in locked position so I could nurse him. We still sit in it every day and I love it, but he rarely wanted to just hang out and relax with me there. It was always chatting or reading books once the nursing was over.
So though it was a tough moment to know that my baby is now so big he hardly fits on my lap and that he's old enough to start having sad or scary dreams, it was also that moment when I remembered exactly why I wanted to become a mother. This boy loved me, was sure I would come to help him when he was sad, and felt safe enough in my arms to brave going back to sleep. As we slowly rocked and I hummed "twinkle, twinkle little star," I even forgot that I was nervous about starting all over again in a few months.
The habits themselves
In case you are wondering what on earth I'm trying to accomplish every day, here goes:
1. Workout. I tend to put this off until later in the day, because the pregnancy workout videos are pretty lame, and going for a walk with Sebastian in the stroller up and down the hills in our neighborhood is more strenuous than they are. Since I do this almost every day, I can postpone the workout task until the munchkin is awake.
2. Put away dishes. I know, putting away the dishes can happen whenever, but I find that if I get up and do it first thing in the morning, the kitchen tends to stay looking nice for most of the day as I can just put things in the dishwasher as we use them. Otherwise they pile up on the counter or in the sink, and since I'm home much of every day, I find it irks me to look at the mess.
3. Cat litter. I never thought that I would love my cats any less when I had kids, and I don't, but I do have far less patience for all the work it takes to care for them or put up with their neurotic behaviors. Doing the cat litter daily is a real chore, especially when the smell is a bit much for my pregnant nose, but I noticed that this is one I did even on days when I didn't manage some of the others because the litter is in the laundry room, and I cannot do a bunch of laundry while standing next to a smelly litter box.
4. Laundry. I give myself a smiley if I start a load in the morning and switch it when I get Sebastian up from his nap. Getting at least one full load done a day makes for a lot less weekend work, and I usually do two loads since one tends to be Sebastian clothes or diapers and the other is our stuff.
5. Task List. This is one that is filled with various items I have to do, whether high or low priority. The highest ones get done and the low ones rarely do unless I make working on this list a priority every day. I try to get at least two checked off or spend 20 minutes, whichever is the longest.
6. Weekly effective habit. I have items like "meal plan/grocery shopping" on Monday, "put out garbage and recycling" for Wednesday, etc. These are usually short tasks - 15-20 min. - that help keep the household running smoothly but don't need to be done every day.
7. Sort mail. I try to sort this out, recycle the junk, add items to the Task list, and pay the bills all in under 15 minutes. Totally doable if I do it daily, not so much if I forget about the mail for a week.
8. Email sort/respond. I spend 15 minutes going through my email and replying to messages. Anything I don't have time to reply to goes in a "To Reply" folder and is dealt with first thing the next time I deal with it. I can usually keep my inbox empty if I do this every day, but... well, I don't do it every day and so I'm often a week or more behind. I do read the emails every day and reply to anything urgent, but people shouldn't have to wait a week just because they didn't ask me a question about the next day!
9. Dishes/counter/sink. This is a post-dinner routine I'm trying desperately to keep up, but by the end of the day I want nothing to do with being productive. It's hard, but the payoff comes in the morning when I walk downstairs to a clean kitchen. I try to keep that in mind when I'd rather be sitting on the couch eating Chubby Hubby and watching "Friday Night Lights" on DVD (thanks, Jen!).
10. Organize. My main goal before the baby comes is to get our house organized and ready. This involves a lot of decluttering (in other words: throwing things out or donating them) and reorganizing. I try to spend 15-30 minutes on this each day, often with my husband who is helping me work on our garage right now.
11. Put things where they belong. I give myself a smiley if the house is more or less in the same or better condition at night than it was in the morning. I have a tendency to drop things when I come in the door or not pick up if I'm dealing with a toddler tantrum. By the end of the day, all of this stuff adds up to more clutter lying around. I try to put things away as I go, but I usually still have to spend 10 minutes or so just straightening the house at the end of the day.
So that's it. The house will not fall down around me, so it's true that I should - maybe - cut myself a little slack if I miss one or two of these. Then again, these tasks are the kind that should take a little time each day or they will add up to a long time on one day. I'm hoping that making each of these a daily habit will help me to feel more in control of the chaos of being a mom of 2. I also hope it will make me feel a little more like I earned the piano and/or the lessons that I'm aiming for.
We'll see! Today is shaping up to be Day 3 with 27 left to go.
1. Workout. I tend to put this off until later in the day, because the pregnancy workout videos are pretty lame, and going for a walk with Sebastian in the stroller up and down the hills in our neighborhood is more strenuous than they are. Since I do this almost every day, I can postpone the workout task until the munchkin is awake.
2. Put away dishes. I know, putting away the dishes can happen whenever, but I find that if I get up and do it first thing in the morning, the kitchen tends to stay looking nice for most of the day as I can just put things in the dishwasher as we use them. Otherwise they pile up on the counter or in the sink, and since I'm home much of every day, I find it irks me to look at the mess.
3. Cat litter. I never thought that I would love my cats any less when I had kids, and I don't, but I do have far less patience for all the work it takes to care for them or put up with their neurotic behaviors. Doing the cat litter daily is a real chore, especially when the smell is a bit much for my pregnant nose, but I noticed that this is one I did even on days when I didn't manage some of the others because the litter is in the laundry room, and I cannot do a bunch of laundry while standing next to a smelly litter box.
4. Laundry. I give myself a smiley if I start a load in the morning and switch it when I get Sebastian up from his nap. Getting at least one full load done a day makes for a lot less weekend work, and I usually do two loads since one tends to be Sebastian clothes or diapers and the other is our stuff.
5. Task List. This is one that is filled with various items I have to do, whether high or low priority. The highest ones get done and the low ones rarely do unless I make working on this list a priority every day. I try to get at least two checked off or spend 20 minutes, whichever is the longest.
6. Weekly effective habit. I have items like "meal plan/grocery shopping" on Monday, "put out garbage and recycling" for Wednesday, etc. These are usually short tasks - 15-20 min. - that help keep the household running smoothly but don't need to be done every day.
7. Sort mail. I try to sort this out, recycle the junk, add items to the Task list, and pay the bills all in under 15 minutes. Totally doable if I do it daily, not so much if I forget about the mail for a week.
8. Email sort/respond. I spend 15 minutes going through my email and replying to messages. Anything I don't have time to reply to goes in a "To Reply" folder and is dealt with first thing the next time I deal with it. I can usually keep my inbox empty if I do this every day, but... well, I don't do it every day and so I'm often a week or more behind. I do read the emails every day and reply to anything urgent, but people shouldn't have to wait a week just because they didn't ask me a question about the next day!
9. Dishes/counter/sink. This is a post-dinner routine I'm trying desperately to keep up, but by the end of the day I want nothing to do with being productive. It's hard, but the payoff comes in the morning when I walk downstairs to a clean kitchen. I try to keep that in mind when I'd rather be sitting on the couch eating Chubby Hubby and watching "Friday Night Lights" on DVD (thanks, Jen!).
10. Organize. My main goal before the baby comes is to get our house organized and ready. This involves a lot of decluttering (in other words: throwing things out or donating them) and reorganizing. I try to spend 15-30 minutes on this each day, often with my husband who is helping me work on our garage right now.
11. Put things where they belong. I give myself a smiley if the house is more or less in the same or better condition at night than it was in the morning. I have a tendency to drop things when I come in the door or not pick up if I'm dealing with a toddler tantrum. By the end of the day, all of this stuff adds up to more clutter lying around. I try to put things away as I go, but I usually still have to spend 10 minutes or so just straightening the house at the end of the day.
So that's it. The house will not fall down around me, so it's true that I should - maybe - cut myself a little slack if I miss one or two of these. Then again, these tasks are the kind that should take a little time each day or they will add up to a long time on one day. I'm hoping that making each of these a daily habit will help me to feel more in control of the chaos of being a mom of 2. I also hope it will make me feel a little more like I earned the piano and/or the lessons that I'm aiming for.
We'll see! Today is shaping up to be Day 3 with 27 left to go.
Back in the Habit
I had to start over with my New Year's resolutions. If you don't know what I mean, you may want to start here. I was up to about day 18 when I came to a halt. It was for a very good reason, which was that my mom came out to visit and I turned my attention to doing the bigger projects that need larger chunks of time that I don't typically have in just the 2-hour nap window. I told myself that I would resume counting days afterward because it wasn't like I was sitting around on my rear end doing nothing instead of my daily habits.
But after she left, I still took a couple of extra days to get going again, and I decided that if I were going to be true to my resolution, I had to acknowledge that I'd gone more than two consecutive days without doing my habits, even if I didn't count any of her visit. I was pretty disappointed. I tried to rationalize away my failed days. I finally looked at my chart for February that was almost entirely empty, squared my shoulders, and started over.
Here we are toward the end of March, and I'm having to restart again. There were other factors this time, but mostly it's just that it's really hard to keep up with every one of the habits I want to accomplish in any given day, especially if I am tired or Sebastian takes a short nap or...well, life happens.
The question now is: Do I just keep restarting and trying again to see if I can reach this goal? Or do I modify the goal so that I can be more successful?
I think this is a constant question in life. I was talking last week with my mother-in-law about my struggle to continue nursing Sebastian even when he was clearly not getting enough milk and how hard it was to start the formula. Six weeks later, I chose to cut out day feedings/pumping when I went back to work, because pumping in the closet of my classroom during a 15-min. break was making me feel insane, and I was still not producing enough milk to take away the formula anyway. So we settled into a routine of morning and evening nursing, daytime formula. It worked for us. But the question that I was always considering was the same as the above: Do I keep working on this goal, or do I modify the goal?
There are occasionally easy answers to this question. If you're in college, it's usually best to plug on until you finish and get that degree. If you've committed to a project at work, typically it's a good idea to work through the difficulties and finish it, especially if people are depending on you.
But in the rest of our lives, most of this is a lot of confusion. Is this the path, or is there another one that would be better? There are many cliches about this issue, too, like, "You're being too hard on yourself," which translates to going ahead and modifying your goal. Then there is the classic, "You can do it! You just have to keep at it," which of course means get back to that goal and try again.
After much thought, I've decided to do both. I'm keeping my goals and the daily habits I have because I can't figure out any one of them that feels unimportant. My modification was to switch around the order of them a bit to try to take advantage of my most productive times of day (morning and evening) and do the easier ones during the afternoon when I tend to be most exhausted. We'll see how it goes.
Today is going to be Day 1.
But after she left, I still took a couple of extra days to get going again, and I decided that if I were going to be true to my resolution, I had to acknowledge that I'd gone more than two consecutive days without doing my habits, even if I didn't count any of her visit. I was pretty disappointed. I tried to rationalize away my failed days. I finally looked at my chart for February that was almost entirely empty, squared my shoulders, and started over.
Here we are toward the end of March, and I'm having to restart again. There were other factors this time, but mostly it's just that it's really hard to keep up with every one of the habits I want to accomplish in any given day, especially if I am tired or Sebastian takes a short nap or...well, life happens.
The question now is: Do I just keep restarting and trying again to see if I can reach this goal? Or do I modify the goal so that I can be more successful?
I think this is a constant question in life. I was talking last week with my mother-in-law about my struggle to continue nursing Sebastian even when he was clearly not getting enough milk and how hard it was to start the formula. Six weeks later, I chose to cut out day feedings/pumping when I went back to work, because pumping in the closet of my classroom during a 15-min. break was making me feel insane, and I was still not producing enough milk to take away the formula anyway. So we settled into a routine of morning and evening nursing, daytime formula. It worked for us. But the question that I was always considering was the same as the above: Do I keep working on this goal, or do I modify the goal?
There are occasionally easy answers to this question. If you're in college, it's usually best to plug on until you finish and get that degree. If you've committed to a project at work, typically it's a good idea to work through the difficulties and finish it, especially if people are depending on you.
But in the rest of our lives, most of this is a lot of confusion. Is this the path, or is there another one that would be better? There are many cliches about this issue, too, like, "You're being too hard on yourself," which translates to going ahead and modifying your goal. Then there is the classic, "You can do it! You just have to keep at it," which of course means get back to that goal and try again.
After much thought, I've decided to do both. I'm keeping my goals and the daily habits I have because I can't figure out any one of them that feels unimportant. My modification was to switch around the order of them a bit to try to take advantage of my most productive times of day (morning and evening) and do the easier ones during the afternoon when I tend to be most exhausted. We'll see how it goes.
Today is going to be Day 1.
Life lessons
Sebastian and I took a trip to the Great White North this week (and by that we mean to Canada, a whole two hours away) to spend some time with Auntie Gina and Xavier. It turned out to be the Boot Camp of social learning. Every five to ten minutes sounded something like this.
Me: Don't grab your cousin. You have to wait your turn.
SP: (while grabbing Xavier) No grabbing.
Me: (removing his hand) That's right. Be gentle. It's Xavier's turn.
SP: (meltdown)
Me: I know you want to play with the truck now. You can play with the other truck.
SP: (whining) THIS truck.
Me: It's Xavier's turn with this truck. You have to wait your turn.
SP: (with big fat tears sliding down his cheeks) Pro'ly wait our turn?
Me: Yes, we have to wait our turn to play.
SP: Bastian turn?
Me: Not yet, but you can wait or help push Xavier on the truck.
SP: Bastian push truck.
X: (staring at this ridiculous scene, then driving away on his truck while Sebastian "pushes" the back of it)
SP: (proudly) Good sharing, boys!
Me: Yes, that's good sharing.
Sigh. I know you are reading this exchange thinking that this is what happens when one has an only child who doesn't have to share and doesn't go to day care. The thing is, you'd be only partially right. Sebastian has a TON of opportunities throughout his week to see other toddlers and have to share with them. Most of the time he handles it calmly. But four days straight was apparently too much all at once. Thank goodness his little brother or sister will start wanting to share his toys a bit more gradually. Nevertheless, Sebastian is also just in that temper tantrum phase in which he pitches a fit whenever he doesn't get his way, no matter what the cause. Only child syndrome again? I think mostly it's just an early version of the terrible twos. But I had to really wonder (see lesson 2 below).
We also learned that he has inherited his mother's hanger, which for those of you who are unrelated to me is when he gets angry if he goes too long without a meal. Feeding him regularly increased his ability to share probably tenfold. I take full blame for this genetic quirk, and now you know why I bring snacks (for both of us) everywhere.
What I learned about myself these past five days would be the following:
1. I'm grateful I don't have twins. Aunt Lori, my hat would be off to you, if I were wearing one.
2. Motherhood has taught me all new levels of guilt and self-doubt. Is Sebastian spoiled, or just going through a phase? Is it my fault that he isn't as easygoing as his cousin? Are my responses making the situations better or worse? Was this summer really the right time to introduce a new sibling to the mix?
3. Losing an hour of sleep to spring forward is B for Bad, even if it does mean that he is still sleeping at "7". Because let's face it, people, he isn't going to bed tonight until at least 8. Boo.
4. Toddler tantrums: one emotional year off Mama's life per day.
Watching the boys play together or splash around joyously in the bath : Priceless.
Me: Don't grab your cousin. You have to wait your turn.
SP: (while grabbing Xavier) No grabbing.
Me: (removing his hand) That's right. Be gentle. It's Xavier's turn.
SP: (meltdown)
Me: I know you want to play with the truck now. You can play with the other truck.
SP: (whining) THIS truck.
Me: It's Xavier's turn with this truck. You have to wait your turn.
SP: (with big fat tears sliding down his cheeks) Pro'ly wait our turn?
Me: Yes, we have to wait our turn to play.
SP: Bastian turn?
Me: Not yet, but you can wait or help push Xavier on the truck.
SP: Bastian push truck.
X: (staring at this ridiculous scene, then driving away on his truck while Sebastian "pushes" the back of it)
SP: (proudly) Good sharing, boys!
Me: Yes, that's good sharing.
Sigh. I know you are reading this exchange thinking that this is what happens when one has an only child who doesn't have to share and doesn't go to day care. The thing is, you'd be only partially right. Sebastian has a TON of opportunities throughout his week to see other toddlers and have to share with them. Most of the time he handles it calmly. But four days straight was apparently too much all at once. Thank goodness his little brother or sister will start wanting to share his toys a bit more gradually. Nevertheless, Sebastian is also just in that temper tantrum phase in which he pitches a fit whenever he doesn't get his way, no matter what the cause. Only child syndrome again? I think mostly it's just an early version of the terrible twos. But I had to really wonder (see lesson 2 below).
We also learned that he has inherited his mother's hanger, which for those of you who are unrelated to me is when he gets angry if he goes too long without a meal. Feeding him regularly increased his ability to share probably tenfold. I take full blame for this genetic quirk, and now you know why I bring snacks (for both of us) everywhere.
What I learned about myself these past five days would be the following:
1. I'm grateful I don't have twins. Aunt Lori, my hat would be off to you, if I were wearing one.
2. Motherhood has taught me all new levels of guilt and self-doubt. Is Sebastian spoiled, or just going through a phase? Is it my fault that he isn't as easygoing as his cousin? Are my responses making the situations better or worse? Was this summer really the right time to introduce a new sibling to the mix?
3. Losing an hour of sleep to spring forward is B for Bad, even if it does mean that he is still sleeping at "7". Because let's face it, people, he isn't going to bed tonight until at least 8. Boo.
4. Toddler tantrums: one emotional year off Mama's life per day.
Watching the boys play together or splash around joyously in the bath : Priceless.
A Sneak Preview
Though it hasn't been that long, it's amazing how much I've already forgotten about life with an infant. We were fortunate to get a reminder and a preview a few weekends ago when our friends came to visit with their adorable three-month-old son.
First, I remembered that those very young infants don't do much yet. This is difficult in many ways, but it was also wonderful! Baby L was content to mostly smile and hang out. Parental jobs: change diapers, give milk, provide some tummy time and a new view now and then, ooh and ahh over cute expressions. Can you believe that? No manners to teach, meals to prepare, tantrums to ignore, or outings to plan. Don't get me wrong: I LOVE having a toddler in so many ways. I think being able to have a conversation or read a book together is one of the major joys of my parenting life. But I will confess that having a baby that is not yet mobile has its own satisfaction.
Then again, there is the lack of sleep factor. In the two nights they were here, L woke twice a night, reminding me just how heroic is the parent who can then do a busy day of sightseeing on only a few hours of sleep! Oh, the sleep deprivation. I am not looking forward to that. Those semidark hours of snuggling with Sebastian are fond memories, but leaving them in the past doesn't sound too bad.
What you're all wondering, though, is how Sebastian reacted to this little visitor. To be honest, mostly he ignored the baby. He was most fascinated when it was time for L to get his bottle, because milk is something my hungry hippo understands! Of course he was convinced that Baby L was getting chocolate milk in his bottle (projection of his own wishful thinking), but otherwise he knew just what was going on. He even understood that it was L's turn first, then his to get his milk in the few moments when I was alone with both boys. His understanding and interest waned within about 5 minutes, however, and then I had to try to defuse the refrain of "Mama, move peez," that ensued.
Then there was the regressing. Sebastian hasn't played with his playmat in many, many months, but seeing Baby L enjoying its fabulous rainforest friends, he just HAD to join in. I was sure Sebastian was going to roll over on him at any minute. Yikes! We have pictures somewhere of the two boys crowded in together, but my nap minutes are winding down. The lessons I learned for July: Sebastian is going to want to try out pretty much all the infant toys again, and the two kids are not to be left alone together for a minute!
And so I was left being both excited about the prospect of having a new snuggle buddy and also a little anxious as I imagined my life as a mother of two. So for the next 4 months, I am going to try to enjoy every bit of time I have left before there's a new Rasler in town.
First, I remembered that those very young infants don't do much yet. This is difficult in many ways, but it was also wonderful! Baby L was content to mostly smile and hang out. Parental jobs: change diapers, give milk, provide some tummy time and a new view now and then, ooh and ahh over cute expressions. Can you believe that? No manners to teach, meals to prepare, tantrums to ignore, or outings to plan. Don't get me wrong: I LOVE having a toddler in so many ways. I think being able to have a conversation or read a book together is one of the major joys of my parenting life. But I will confess that having a baby that is not yet mobile has its own satisfaction.
Then again, there is the lack of sleep factor. In the two nights they were here, L woke twice a night, reminding me just how heroic is the parent who can then do a busy day of sightseeing on only a few hours of sleep! Oh, the sleep deprivation. I am not looking forward to that. Those semidark hours of snuggling with Sebastian are fond memories, but leaving them in the past doesn't sound too bad.
What you're all wondering, though, is how Sebastian reacted to this little visitor. To be honest, mostly he ignored the baby. He was most fascinated when it was time for L to get his bottle, because milk is something my hungry hippo understands! Of course he was convinced that Baby L was getting chocolate milk in his bottle (projection of his own wishful thinking), but otherwise he knew just what was going on. He even understood that it was L's turn first, then his to get his milk in the few moments when I was alone with both boys. His understanding and interest waned within about 5 minutes, however, and then I had to try to defuse the refrain of "Mama, move peez," that ensued.
Then there was the regressing. Sebastian hasn't played with his playmat in many, many months, but seeing Baby L enjoying its fabulous rainforest friends, he just HAD to join in. I was sure Sebastian was going to roll over on him at any minute. Yikes! We have pictures somewhere of the two boys crowded in together, but my nap minutes are winding down. The lessons I learned for July: Sebastian is going to want to try out pretty much all the infant toys again, and the two kids are not to be left alone together for a minute!
And so I was left being both excited about the prospect of having a new snuggle buddy and also a little anxious as I imagined my life as a mother of two. So for the next 4 months, I am going to try to enjoy every bit of time I have left before there's a new Rasler in town.
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